It’s nearly 12 days until Christmas – half way through the advent calendar (mmm chocolate). I’m so looking forward to a break. I know I’ve only been working for a couple of months but it’s been intense, and I’ve have things outside of work too which have just meant that I haven’t had much chance just to sit back and relax. And I do like to sit back and relax, it’s what I do best… The past few weeks have flown – and not for having fun. After coming home from work in the evenings, I’ve been working some more on a writing project for the company I worked for before I left the UK. I came to the end of the project a couple of days ago and handed in my ‘notice’ to say I wouldn’t be doing it again – more on this later. This week I’ve also spent an evening in hospital with Kiwi’s Nanny – she had a bit of a funny turn earlier in the week and went into hospital with some heart problems. She’s alright though, just needed some medication to get her back on form, but was concerning all the same. Now I come to think of it, I can’t even remember what else has been keeping me busy, I just know that I have been and now I’m so tired my days are blurring into each other.

Just another 8 working days until I get a break for a couple of weeks. Can’t wait for lie-ins, time with Kiwi, time with family (or at least Kiwi’s family), more lie-ins… might throw in a few afternoon naps too, aaaah laziness beckons.

So, back to the subject of working for my previous employer. It’s sad to leave the project behind – it’s been what has kept me in touch with my old work friends. I’m still on the email list (I’ve kept my old work email for the project) so I get all the email banter which goes around. And I keep in touch on Facebook too. My old employer (as in the company, rather than the employer himself) is like an ex-boyfriend. I still care about it, I like to know how they are, what they’re doing now. Feels like by letting the project go I am leaving them behind and completely moving on. What’s sadder is the company itself seems to be going through some difficulties – redundancies were made yesterday which came as a shock – I was surprised to be so concerned and to feel so sad about it, but I do. Not just because my friends have been made redundant, but because of what it means for the company. It’s not the company I loved, the close-knit family has been broken up. It also occurred to me that if I had still been working there, perhaps I would have been made redundant too. But here I am in New Zealand – having made the choice to leave instead of being forced to. And I’m doing better for myself because of it – although if it wasn’t for my old employer, I wouldn’t have had the skills and experience to get the job I’m in now, so I feel grateful for that. Which makes it even sadder that things are changing for them. Maybe it’ll be a good change, I don’t know. My personal opinion is clouded by feelings for my friends and all I can see now is that the choices that have been made seem wrong. But I’m not there any more, so what do I know? This recession has opened my eyes to the harshness of business decisions – I don’t think I could ever own my own company – I couldn’t make choices which affect people’s lives and their ability to financially support their families. How do you make the call of who goes and who stays? How do you tell someone you’re letting them go? I don’t want to find out.

Now I’m just keeping my fingers crossed for my friends who are out of a job. I know they’ll find something better – I just hope it’s sooner rather than later. Newcastle is a small place, there aren’t too many jobs going at the moment. Lots of people have been made redundant, not many job positions for them to fill… Sounds bleak but I think good things will come of it – the good companies will get better and the bad ones will have to improve themselves and stop living on bad business practices and getting away with it, or they won’t survive.

And on that note, I’m going to bed.

So picture this: Kiwi and I are having a play fight in the lounge – he is wearing one of a pair of flippers he recently bought. The flipper is literally the length of his leg. He is slapping my leg/arse with the flipper in kung fu style, I am trying to fight him off. I eventually succeed in stepping on the flipper. I stand on it with both feet – I have won. But Kiwi has one more move up his sleeve – he pulls his leg back, pulling the flipper out from under my feet. Now we go into slow motion as I am swept off my feet (and not in a good way), landing full weight HARD on my back/arse on the floor. Man down. I shout, swear a little and my chin starts to wibble. I start to cry. I am embarrassed to be crying like a little girl in front of our housemates who are sat there, bemused, while I’m sprawled on the floor in the middle of the lounge. Kiwi helps me get up and out of view into our room, where I sob/laugh/cry/giggle (I’m one of those people who laughs instead of cries, except when the situation involves physical pain, in which case I laugh while I cry). Kiwi isn’t sure whether I’m happy, sad, in pain or delirious. Either way, he looks very sorry.

And that’s where I find myself, on a Saturday night, laid up in bed with a bruised tailbone. It’s getting stiffer by the hour. I am walking like a constipated chicken. Flippers should come with a warning attached – injured in a domestic flipper incident? Must happen all the time…

Anyway, while I’m here, thought I’d put some photos up like I said I would, enjoy:

Peek-a-boo house…

Our home…

The view from our deck – Wellington in the background

New Zealand = Green!

And a few photos of the view I take in on my walk home from work… Nothing special

View of Wellington and the ocean…

Pretty blissful – unless you’re a New Zealander, in which case this kind of view is the norm. Definitely not the norm in the UK. I mean, look at the colour of the sky – did you know that the sky is blue, not grey?! Only joking… sort of.

So, onto the title of this post, apparently Summer is here, but other than the day I took these photos, you wouldn’t know it. New Zealand enjoyed the coldest October, the wettest November and looks like it’s going to be the coldest and wettest December! It has been raining all week. Today the winds were up to 9okph in Wellington. And that was mild compared to the rest of the week! You can actually feel the wind lifting your eyelids if you walk into the wind, like G-force effect… It takes your breath away – literally. And don’t even bother to take your umbrella out for the rain – Wellington is an umbrella graveyard. The wind likes to eat umbrellas, omnomnom. That’s some wind. Hopefully the weather will get better in the run up to Christmas, so we can enjoy a barbecue Christmas lunch as planned for us, with Kiwi’s parents, Nana and Aunt!

This is us on our deck (balcony if you’re English) of our home in Brooklyn, Wellington. See the view behind us? Yes. If you’re not New Zealandish this is not your average window-view. We’re very lucky to have all that greenery around us (the photo is just a glimpse, it spreads for miles). My hayfever has been extraordinarily bad since moving here. It’s swings and roundabouts… We’ve been here for two weeks now though – the two weeks in which I haven’t blogged. So, let me get you up to date on what we’ve been up to outside of working hours.

I can’t take any credit for moving house – Kiwi did it all while I was at work. He now understands my opinion that we should have just paid for removal men – it took a good few days and too many journeys back and forth from Upper Hutt with a trailer and a truck to count. Plus heavy-lifting furniture down the steep stairs which lead to our front door. But we’re here now, everything is unpacked and we’ve managed to fit our combined shite into our small-ish room and smaller office. It’s cosy, that’s for sure, but it has its charms – I can sit in bed and reach anything in our room without leaving the mattress… The giant lounge-come-dining room makes up for this – it has floor to ceiling windows along the outside walls (of which there are two), from which you get a 180 degrees view of what’s beyond our deck. When the sun streams in it’s a sun lounge, mmmm warm. The kitchen is mahoosive too, with two sinks – one for putting fish in when the boys come home from spearfishing, bonus – plus a room at the back of the kitchen for hanging wetsuits in. Perfect. Speaking of spearfishing, check out what we had for dinner this week:

Mmm, some Teraki and Butter Fish. The boys cooked it up by just flouring the fish and frying it up in butter, serving it with seasoned home-made potato wedges and salad. Us girls were impressed.

The past two weekends we’ve been Christmas shopping. We managed to shop in four towns last Saturday – we started in Wellington, went to Petone, Lower Hutt and then Upper Hutt too. We found all but one gift in one day for all the family, so it was worth the hard-core shopping action. Mum and dad, your present is in the post. Bro, Sister in Law and Nephoo – your present is in the post too! On the subject of Christmas presents, remember my ring from Kiwi? Well, one of the emeralds dropped out a few days after wearing it. I was so disappointed, but we took it to a jeweller to price-up getting a new emerald, along with adding new claws to the ring to hold the emeralds in place more securely. We were told it would cost around $270, but they couldn’t guarantee that the stones wouldn’t fall out again, because the ring is so dainty and the shape of it means it’s more likely to catch on things. So we decided it wasn’t worth it. It’s not all bad though, Kiwi’s mum offered him a family ring to give to me, which he has asked her to hold on to for now. We plan to use the diamonds from that ring, combine them with the emeralds from this ring and have two new rings designed – one engagement and one wedding ring. Don’t get too excited, we’re not engaged, but it’s something we’re both talking about for “one day”.

My Christmas gifts have been a teeny bit disastrous all over. Mum and dad had sent Kiwi and I our Christmas gifts early (or rather marksandspencer.com sent them early). I received a spa dressing gown – lush, white, expensive dressing gown that’s ankle length with a hood, plus some pink slipper boots. Brandon got some posh man slipper mules. When the dressing gown arrived, it was leaving fluff all over the place so I gave it a wash (in the washing machine in our new house). It came out the machine covered in brown stains. Oh noes. Kiwi saved the day though, he’s spent the past week soaking the gown in Napisan (Vanish if you’re English). And it’s now stain free, so mum you can rest easy now

Anyway, Kiwi’s mum and step-dad are coming over for tea so I better start preparing the house and the food. I’m doing chicken baked in cajun spices, with onion and cashew nut rice, waldorf salad and other salady bits. I’ve got Christmas cards to write too or I’ll miss the last airmail deadline for cards to arrive before the holidays. Plus I’ve got a bookcase to put together. I sound overly domesticated.

For those of you hardcore blog fans who have been reading my verbal diarrhea for a long time, may remember me talking about a “cup of mum”. If not, the basic sentiments were that a cup of tea solves every personal problem, but when you have a cup of tea with your mum, you could potentially solve the problem of world peace – tea plus mum; the answer to the middle east’s problems. Anyway, this morning a small box turned up in our post box. I knew my mum had sent something because she emailed me – apparently we’re receiving two parcels *exciting*! but the first one arrived this morning. And guess what it was? A cup of mum:

Oh yes, a baby pink mug with dressed-up guinea pigs and writing along the top that reads “ladies who munch”. Definitely me. Definitely my mum. Made me smile, thanks mum xxx

Speaking of guinea pigs, the poor wee furballs were nearly eaten by Jasper, Cat Woman’s cat, this morning. The door to the office (their room) had been left open by accident and while we were lying in bed we heard screaming squeaks. By the time I ran into the office, Cat Woman and Wetsuit Man had already saved the day (hero names for genuine heroes!) and the cat had been dragged out the room. But we were told that the cat had Kiara by the neck and had taken her out of the cage and pressed her on the floor. Cat Woman took Kiara off Jasper and put her back in the cage, while Wetsuit Man chucked the cat out of the room.

We checked Kiara over for injuries but other than a bit of trauma she was fine – they were all fine after about half an hour. But we do need to finish making a lid for their cage to prevent any future issues now the cat knows what lies behind the office door… (He’s sat looking at the door as I type).

Whoosacuteywooteyguineapigeatingmonster:

Hello strangers, hello mum and dad. I’m back. I’ve been giving myself some time to get into a more positive frame of mind, so I thought I’d take some time away from blogging just to prevent this space becoming a negative venting area. Actually, I lie. I’ve been too busy working at work and working at home to be bothered to update you on where I’m at. But I am glad that I have taken a step back for a while because it’s amazing how much feelings and thoughts change when you don’t have time to brood over everything.

It’s taken a bit of time but I finally feel content – it feels like I have ‘landed’. Constant comparisons with life as it used to be in Newcastle are nil (other than wishing my best friends were here – Bev, Roseann, Ally, Julia, Sarah, come visit me!) I’m happy with life in Wellington though – I am so in love with walking home from work in the sun; walking up a ridiculously long and steep hill (mountain by English standards), getting half way up then turning around to see the view of the whole of Wellington and the sea beyond (I’ll get some photos up soon, make all you English people jealous …). I’m loving that when I wake up in the morning and the curtains in the living room are open, all I can see is sun shining over bush covered hills, with silver ferns poking above the tree tops just under our deck – I have koru all around me. Koru are the unfurling, young leaves of the silver fern and the koru shape is also a Maori symbol of new life, growth, strength and peace (thank you, Wikipedia). That’s how I feel about life right now – the challenges I have faced up until this point have enabled me to grow and I’ve finally found peace in this new life (ooh, poetic use of Wikipedia).

Work is unfurling too – I have found my feet and most of the things which were causing me issues have sorted themselves out – I am now managing aspects of accounts, reflecting the job role how I expected it to be, and everything is making sense. I can see where the projects are leading to, how I fit into them and I can envisage the long-term potential. Providing there is long-term potential from the company side of things – I’ll have to see in May, when my contract is up for renewal or termination. In the meantime there’s some great opportunities. We’re working on a project right now for which we’re looking at spending 8 individual days (or 8 weekends) visiting shopping malls across New Zealand (1 day or 1 weekend in each location, over the span of a few months). I’m hoping I’ll be required to help oversee activity in all locations, opportunity knocks for a bit of New Zealand travel, even if it is just the inside of different malls… I am also working on some television commercials, some DVD filming and we’re putting together ideas for spending clients’ budgets (yay, spending money, my favourite!) Lots of aspects of marketing and advertising which I haven’t been involved in previously. I’m confident I’ve had some valuable input into aspects of the projects I am working on, which is helping my overall feeling of being in the right place. Before I started, I was concerned I’d be out of my comfort zone (design is just one small aspect of marketing – now I’m working on every aspect of marketing), but my recall of my marketing knowledge is stronger than I thought it would be, having finished my studies nearly a year ago and believing I’d forgotten everything I’d ever learnt… Once I had started, I was concerned that I had slipped into an administration position due to stepping into the middle of jobs for which I didn’t know the full picture. But I needn’t have worried – I am not an under qualified Account Manager or an over qualified Administrator – I’m using all the skills I’ve gained in my previous experience and I am learning so much as I go too. I am lucky to have found this position and I’m just beginning to appreciate how much. I am challenged every week in my work, and I am constantly learning new skills and gaining knowledge; it’s a rich environment to be in to improve myself.

So, that’s not a complete update but it’ll have to do until tomorrow, I’m tired, I have a Kiwi sitting next to me who keeps tapping me and asking if I’m done yet. I guess I am.

Another week of ‘meh’ has passed, although it was less so than the last, which was less so then the one before that. So altogether it seems things will get better in time. We’re now into our last few days living in Upper Hutt, which I’m surprised to have mixed feelings about – don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to be moving into the city and living with friends. But I’m sorry to be leaving the homeliness of the family, and home-cooking a la mum when I get home from work. Home comforts, I’m sure we’ll have our own home comforts in the new house – sitting on the deck in the sun, overlooking bush below, drink in hand… Barbecues out on the deck, cooking up the catch of the day which Kiwi and Wetsuit Man bring home from a day’s spearfishing. Chillaxing with Cat Woman’s cat Jasper and the mini-pigs, all one big happy family… until Jasper decides the pigs look more like lunch than company. I guess we’ll soon find out how the ‘cute and furries’ feel about each other, although if Kiara’s attitude problem is anything to go by perhaps Jasper should look out, instead of the other way around.

Update on the mini-pig mansion (it’s like Big Brother but with rodents): Since Simba moved in he’s declared his undying love for Nala (he follows her everywhere as soon as she moves out her little bedroom – if he’s not in it with her already. She likes to lick his ears while he’s eating so the feelings are definitely reciprocated) and it seems to have put Kiara in a permanently bad mood. She was never very nice to Nala, but even so she’s not liking that Nala’s found a friend. Now Kiara spends most of her time sat in her ‘bedroom’. Hopefully she’ll cheer up eventually, she’s still the boss – Simba hasn’t taken over her role as the dominant pig (he’s a wuss), but she’s still unhappy about something.

Anyway, enough of the reality-pig show. I am without Kiwi this weekend. He’s gone to his beach party on Tora Beach, in the Wairarapa (which is less of a party and more of a small gathering because only 4 people could make it this weekend). I had too much work to do to join him. I’m working on a paid writing project which I don’t think I’ll be able to take on again. My new job requires late evenings when necessary and maybe some travel and there’s talk of a couple of weekends away with work next year too, so I can’t commit myself to outside projects knowing that my job will have to take precedent over everything. And this project has its own deadlines to meet, so I don’t want to risk letting anyone down. It’s caused me some issues this time around too, which haven’t come up before, so it’s becoming evident that the idea of working remotely from NZ on a UK project is different to the reality. It was fine when I didn’t have a full time job, so if schedules were shifted or problems arose I had time to sort them out and still meet deadlines. But now I do I can’t be as available as I was. I have been umming and aahing the pros and cons of it for a while – the pro was the extra money coming in (enough for a trip to the UK annually if we wanted), but the cons are far outweighing that. Then I got a shitty email from someone this morning (project-related, just a third party to the project having a whinge about something out of my control, and expecting me to do unreasonable amounts to solve the issue). It put me in a bad mood – who wants to deal with crap on what should be a weekend break from work? It was the decision-maker really. All in all, I’m not keen on having stresses from one job during working hours, then another job when I get home.

While Kiwi is away tonight, me and his parents are going to see Julie and Julia. I know, I’ve already seen it, but I loved it – go see it, but don’t watch it on an empty stomach like I did the first time. Meryl Streep was hilarious as Julie. A movie will be something to take me away from work for a bit and make me chuckle. And tomorrow I’m planning to see the new version of A Christmas Carol too. Last time I dropped into the Ascot, I was given a comp voucher for two adults by a lovely lady I miss working with (because I never got an ‘official’ leaving present from management and although I was told I could see a free movie the day before I started my new job, I never used the opportunity). Since Kiwi is away this weekend, and then we’re moving away from the Hutt and the Ascot on Monday, I’m going to use both vouchers myself. When we do move into town I’m going to make it a weekly thing to see a movie – I want to see 2012, The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus and Avatar when it comes out, so there’s a few weeks of movie watching already.

I shouldn’t be sat here typing, or at least I shouldn’t be typing here, I should be working. Or if not working I should be packing moving boxes. I’ll be at work while Kiwi moves our things into the new place, so it’s only fair that I pack our boxes ready for him. Lots to be doing, lots of procrastinating to be done.

Ooh, while I remember, Kiwi and I went to see comedian Rhys Darby (Flight of the Concords/The Boat That Rocked etc) on Wednesday night at Wellington Opera House. He was really funny (go figure – but the last time I went to see a big star comedian, Eddie Izzard’s show Sexy, it was a disappointment). He compered his own show, which was very cool to see. He came on stage at the beginning of the show, masquerading as a park ranger called Bill Napier and talked about how he’d seen Rhys Darby in 1999 when he’d invited him to a party as a comedy-act, and he owed him money for that show so he’d offered to be his manager instead of paying him. There was another act on too – a guy called Chris Brain who was winner of the Billy T James comedy award, and he was funny too but his jokes were focused on Australians and politics so there was nothing amazingly new about that. Before we saw the show, we went out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant called Flying Burrito Brothers, and as we left we saw Rhys Darby on Cuba Street, and ended up following walking behind him towards the Opera House. He’s very tall in real life (as opposed to TV/movie life. And his hair is bouncy.

By the by, my ring arrived this morning. Unbelievable considering it was coming from the US and was posted on Tuesday. The state of NZ Post at the moment means they have issues delivering a letter from one address in Wellington to another in Wellington… It could take up to a week. The ring arrived in a cute yellow purse which I can keep. It’s yellow, so I’m going to keep a collection of matching yellow-gold jewellery that I have in it. Seems fitting. I can’t decide whether to get the ring re-sized or not. It fits on my index finger, and it looks pretty but feels weird – I don’t wear rings on this finger. I’m wearing the ring now so I can have a think about it. Kiwi tried to take it off me until Christmas, which I really didn’t mind, but I did say I needed to see it so I could give the seller a review, plus I needed to find out if it fit me. I said he could have it back to keep until Christmas, but now I’ve seen it he doesn’t want it back. Seems silly to me, considering I chose it in the first place so I knew what it looked like anyway?! Bless him, he’s a bit special… So that’s Christmas-come-early for me. Although the camera his parents bought me last weekend has been given to his mum to be kept until Christmas day.

And here it is, the ring (I haven’t brushed my hair – yes it’s 6pm on a Saturday and I haven’t changed out of my PJs yet).

Anyway, it’s nearly tea-time. Just two more mum-cooked meals and we’ll be on our own

Despite all the ‘meh’ of the past couple of weeks, life is good. The sun is shining, summer’s almost here. We enjoyed a barbecue picnic next to the beach yesterday, with Kiwi and his mum and step-dad. We went to the esplanade in Petone with some sausages, hot dog buns and salad and it was perfect – sunshine and sausages are becoming my favourite things. We also went shopping for some Christmas presents. Kiwi has bought himself an LED TV on credit (no interest for 18 months so he thought he’d treat himself). He decided that he wanted an Apple TV for Christmas from me and his mum (it’s not a second TV, it’s a box for the TV which you link to your computer network and the internet and you can watch any movies you have downloaded from iTunes without having to copy them to a DVD first or anything like that). Enough of the geek spiel, Google it if you want to know more, I’m still not sure what it does myself… Anyway, while we were out buying the Apple TV in the electronics store, I decided that I wanted a camera from Kiwi’s parents for my Christmas present. I used to borrow Kiwi’s camera but it died (in a totally unrelated incident to the one where I knocked it out of his hand onto the ground and it split in half…) which is why there’ve been no images on my blog for so long! (The images above are stolen from the internetz). Talking of which, I found my Christmas present from Kiwi to me on etsy.com, from the seller 23tulips. It’s the emerald and gold ring you see before you. My birth stone is emerald and I fell in love with this ring so nothing else would do for me! Kiwi has never bought me any jewellery – I have a necklace and earrings from his mum, a bracelet and ring from his Nana, a bracelet from my mum, a watch from my dad, and nothing from my Kiwi. Well, now I do. It’s being sent from the US so hopefully I’ll have it in time to get it re-sized before Christmas (re-sizing is probably needed – the photo shows the ring on a thumb, I’d want to wear it on my right hand ring-finger). I want it now, I love it!

Kiwi has arranged a beach gathering next weekend on Tora Beach in the Wairarapa. He’s planing to go up early on Saturday morning, set up camp and do some spearfishing and paua diving. Other’s will join him for a barbecue and a night camping. I wasn’t going to go due to my weekend workload (I’ve got a writing project on at the moment – paid work) but to be honest I’m loathe to miss out on it, and there’s always the Sunday afternoon and evening to work… I could even take some work with me (proofreading etc). If next weekend is going to be anything like this weekend, I do not want to spend it indoors! I’m jealous at the thought of people having camping and beach fun without me! I’d say my mind was made up then… Hehe…

Anyway, talking of weekend work load, I’m supposed to be working right now! See ya x

I’ve left it for a week to tell you how things are going simply because it’s been up and down, swings and roundabouts, and I just wanted to give myself some head space without writing down anything too negative or overly optimistic. It was another busy week in which I had times I felt I wasn’t where I wanted to be. I’ve had dreams in which Kiwi tells me to quit. But then I was able to get a temp in to help out with my workload for a couple of days and I was able to breathe for a bit. This job is very different to what I imagined – I think it’s my design background, I expected a more ‘creative’ environment and I’m not feeling the banter yet – everyone’s too busy. In my old job I had to ‘create’ my workload and I was answerable to myself, pretty much. In this job I’m being given my workload, from left, right and centre I have people asking me to add this, that and the other to my To Do list. I think some of that workload has been unnecessary things that someone else should be doing themselves, but being new there’s not much I can do about it. Saying that, it’s probably helping me to learn my clients and projects by having certain tasks passed down to me.

Having a temp in took the pressure off but even she commented “do you ever stop” – which says something. Although luckily at the end of the week, while the temp was doing my odds and shite I was busy ticking things off my To Do list, and for the first time since I arrived I wasn’t being handed even more to add to it so it ends up longer and longer, however much work I do. Hopefully this is the end of the stress; my manager is back next week so I’ll have her support to help everything make sense, and her advice/guidance in what’s my role and what’s other people’s. Right now I’m less Account Manager and more distribution house/postman/data input.

That all sounds so negative, even though I’m feeling more positive about it now. I keep being told how it’s normal for the first few weeks/months in a new job to be stressful but I’ve never experienced that before. Obviously bar and hotel work was easy so no stress there, and in my previous job instead of being given too much to cope with, I had nothing to do and I had to find my own work. I know which scenario I prefer! I’ve been thinking about this constant comparing with my old job. It’s causing my feeling of ‘what am I doing here’ – in my old job I seemed to always search for things to do, and I’d finish them in my own time. I’d usually be waiting for the next coffee or lunch break, because when you’re writing or doing something ‘creative’, you tend to procrastinate until you get in the creative ‘mood’… Now, I have days I’m too busy to have a lunch break and I don’t stop all day. There’s no time to procrastinate. I don’t feel like I should take a break when there is so much to do, so I get stressed out about it because I don’t have a ‘time-out’ and by the end of the day I’m so tired I can barely talk to Kiwi – this has never been how I’ve worked before. I’m going to have to get used to the fact that there will always be things to do and they’ll all be ‘priority’, but they can wait for an hour while I get some fresh air. No stresses, I can only do so much in one day, I shouldn’t strive to empty my To Do list by home time – that’s trying for the impossible when it’s constantly being added to.

In other news, we move house a week on Monday and everything I’ve been striving for since I got to New Zealand will be achieved. That was all; job, home in the city, residency (which doesn’t really matter right now since I have my long-term work permit). Now just give me a few months to settle in and I’m sure I’ll stop all this whinging Pom crap I constantly blog – it may sound like I don’t appreciate this job which I was so desperate for, but I do. I’ve always had problems with high expectations and being disappointed, but that’s only because I’m a dreamer and life never matches your dreams – I never did learn how to take it as it comes.

Contrary to previous accusations about Mondays, today was neither manic nor blue. I had time to think for the first time in a week. I didn’t achieve much but I organised myself in order to achieve more the rest of this week (at least that’s what I tell myself  – why do today what you can put off ’til tomorrow… procrastination is harder work than actually working). Anyway, amongst other bits I organised my To-Do List into three parts – today, this week and next week. So now the list looks a bit shorter and less looming than before, and everything feels a bit less *AAAAGH*-making.

The weekend was uneventful, except that we went out to a Tepanyaki restaurant (one of those places where the chef cooks your meal on the table in front of you) in Lower Hutt with Kiwi’s Dad and Nanny on Friday night. When the chef played a few games with us, like ‘catch the egg’, I didn’t catch the egg and it landed in Kiwi’s Dad’s lap. And it wasn’t hard-boiled either. His legs were well and truly egged. At least it gave Kiwi’s Nanny the best laugh she’d had in a week… On the down side, my stomach decided to complain about the amount of rich foods I was consuming (on a bad day IBS doesn’t agree with oils, garlic, onions, red meat, root vegetables, copious amounts of food in general) and I spent the rest of the evening suffering in the restaurant bathroom, not to mention stopping at McDonald’s on the way home to use the ladies, funtimes…

Kiwi and I went to see Michael Jackson’s This Is It on Saturday, which was pretty good. It’s quite emotive since you know the ending, but I wouldn’t go in expecting to be astounded if you do go to see it – it’s just clips of song preparation, then clips of the song itself, clips of song preparation, clips of the song itself… and so on. Although you can see from the footage that it would have been the most elaborate concert ever staged, and it is tragic it never came about. And Michael Jackson himself moved like he was still in his 20s, and sounded just as he always has.

On Saturday night we trundled off to see some fireworks at Trentham Memorial Park, but being New Zealand Spring, it doesn’t get dark until about 9pm, so the fireworks weren’t due to start until around 9.30, which we didn’t find out until we arrived at 7pm. So having hung around for an hour, getting colder and bored, I wasn’t too interested in waiting for another hour and a half for five minutes of fireworks. We met up with Kiwi Girl and her family for a short while; and Kiwi Girl and me went on one of the carnival rides which were set up around the park. It didn’t look as fun as it was, I love fairground rides – I miss the Hoppings in Newcastle (Europe’s largest fun fair which comes to Newcastle annually for two weeks). We left around 8:30pm and went to rent a scary movie in honour of it being Halloween. Our DVD player turned out to be broken though, so we called it an early night.

Sunday was hot – English mid-summer kind of hot. I spent the day mostly in the garden, sat on a garden chair. Kiwi and I made a big pen on the lawn for the pigs to run around in, so I had to sit with them to make sure no neighbourhood cats came prowling. The pigs didn’t even appreciate it. They sat in one corner, underneath the shade I’d made for them out of towels and didn’t move. They were probably a bit scared by the unfamiliar environment though, but I’d like for them to make the most of the pen while they can; when we move into town we don’t have a lawn.

This week I’ve got so much work to do after work, I’m tired just thinking about it. I start work on a writing project which I’ve kept up from the UK – it comes around every 3 months. It’s only a couple of weeks work, but it’s a couple of weeks of spare time becoming no-spare time, now I’m working full time too. But it’s something I enjoy doing and I know it inside out now so it’s not too much like hard work, it’s just time consuming. Plus I’ve got an article for the work newsletter to write an outline for. I volunteered an idea which I now can’t even think what to write about, so I’m putting it off instead… because that’s how things get done, right? You put them aside and the fairies do it all for you? I thought so.

Anyway, it’s 9.45pm which is way past my bed time – seriously it is, I can’t stay awake in the evenings at the moment. I go to bed around 9.30/10pm and get up at 6am. I need 8 hours, I don’t function without zoning-out if I don’t get my 8 hours. *Yaaaaaawn*

That pretty much sums up about 80% of my day. Nothing particular happened, just an overwhelming sense of being overwhelmed. It’s probably just *that* time of the month talking and I’m overly emotional. I spent this morning feeling teary, had sorted myself out by mid-afternoon then one tiny comment left me feeling a bit teary again. I have no idea where it came from; I think I’m doing okay at work. I’m in a situation where it’s an extremely busy time and I need to pick up the middle of projects and carry them on. And that’s fine, there’s just a lot to take in and I need some guidance, and unfortunately it’s also a time in which everyone else is busy too so it’s not an easy-peasy, breaking-me-in-gently process. It’s a ‘this, this, this, this, this, this…etc need doing – now go’, and I knew it would be like that and I can deal with it. I just wasn’t expecting that many things to keep cropping up which shifts everything else which I’ve just arranged. I am keeping on top of it all. It’s just leaving me feeling exhausted at the end of the day and I can’t just leave it at work, it comes home with me and goes over in my mind all evening, then I dream weird and strange dreams which leave me reeling when I wake up to my alarm and I’m confused as to where I am and what that noise is.

It’s hard too coming from a place I loved and was one of the ‘family’ into a place I feel out of the mix. Obviously I’ve only been there a week, it takes time to be one of the team and have your place within it, but it’s a bit lonely out there in the meantime; just when you need some friends around to vent to – most days were coffee-and-a-vent days at my old work. I miss the banter which made it all so homely. I don’t know, I’m tired and teary again but it’s 9pm and everything seems more dramatic until you wake up in the morning and realise it was your hormones talking. I’ll be fine tomorrow. It’s Friday in the morning and then it’s the weekend and I can forget all about it. Except for the fact I’ve got some ‘homework’ to do.

I need a hug.