You are currently browsing the category archive for the 'A Novel Journey' category.
Check out my new page. It’s there to add a little excitement to your visit when you have some time to kill and perhaps I haven’t updated in a while. Push the button and it’ll take you to a random post in my archives; there’s nearly 1 and a half year’s worth of posts to delve into and my journey of thoughts has been interesting to say the least – in that time I have considered relationships (past and present), anxiety attacks, novel writing, body confidence, my time in Newcastle UK, emigrating to Wellington New Zealand, job hunting in a recession and a newly discovered obsession with small and furry critters. Definitely so random.
It’s been a while… I have lost my mojo. The novel has stopped since my last novel-related post and I feel 50,000 words would be a mean feat with only 9 days left, so we can safely assume that like everything else I ever begin with the best intentions, I have failed. Although, looking more optimistically at it, I have achieved the beginnings of a novel which I can come back to as life goes on, and add to. I feel there’s only so far in an autobiography you can get at the tender age of 24, I have barely lived life. It’s not an excuse for my failure, but a reason why the ideas dried up and I simply had nothing more novel-worthy to contribute, leading to a lack of inspiration and motivation.
The blog has been neglected too, I’ve not only fought off my anxiety issues but I’m also feeling relaxed about leaving the UK, my dreams aren’t as crazy-like and I’ve worked through all the little bits of my personal history. So, I feel I’ve come out the other end and can only move onwards and upwards – no more introspection or retrospection.
One writing mojo. If found, please return to me.
Novel? What novel??! It’s just over a third of the way through the month and I am just under a third of the way through the 50,000 word count. I have written 12,000 words to be exact. Not fantastic, I should have at least 20,000 by now. But as I have established in the novel itself, I’m a slacker, so it has got to be expected. I had intended to keep on placing the chapters on my blog as I finished them, but since I realised I was falling behind somewhat and decided it would be a better idea just to get some words down, my novel has become disjointed and there are no chapter flows as such right not. Rather than make it suitable for public viewing, I’m just trying to increase my word count, so I’m not sure I’ll be adding any more to the novel page until November has passed. Once I’ve completed the challenge, then I can worry about structure and form and content.
It’s tempting just to type the same sentence over and again. It’s tempting just to type the same sentence over and again. It’s tempting just to type the same sentence over and again… You get the gist, I’d be at 50,000 words in no time at all. But where’s the feeling of pride and achievement in that? So, back to work for me… Do we think I can manage another 13,000 words this weekend, to put me back on target for words vs days left? I severely doubt it. *feeling of disappointment in myself*.
The start of my weekend of writing isn’t going as well as planned. I’d hoped to have 9000 words down by tonight, but I’m only just over 4000 and I’ve been rudely interrupted by Kiwi watching the rugby when I was happily just getting into the flow, with TMF on the TV in the background and nothing to distract me. To be fair to Kiwi, I’d spent the majority of the day not writing anything, so I only have myself to blame if I don’t reach my personal target.
I’ve come across a few blog posts this week written by bloggers partaking in NaNoWriMo. I’m not sure whether they are inspiring me or putting me off what seems to be turning into a heinous task. They speak of days in which they have totted up only 5000 words, as though it was a bad day. They talk of previous years in which they only made it to the 10,000 word mark as life has other plans for you when you commit yourself to a thankless task. Others talk about how last month they wrote 100,000 words, so November will be a breeze. All in all they are making me see that 50,000 words is a very, very tall order. The physical task of typing 50,000 words is easy – I’d probably manage that over the space of a few days. It’s the flow of ideas, the having 50,000 words of something to write about, the motivation to do it, the focus and concentration to keep your mind on the task at hand. That’s what will be my downfall.
Speaking of it like this isn’t a particularly positive frame of mind – as though I will inevitably have a downfall, but I do feel that I won’t make it to the end. I feel like I am preparing my own mind for failure – I’m starting to make excuses to myself that if only I didn’t have a full time job, if I didn’t have plans for my weekends, if if if whatever, then I could write my novel. But since I do, then it’s ok if I can’t.
I’m trying to talk myself into a fighting frame of mind – I WILL achieve my goal. I’ll see how it goes this weekend, making it to 15,000 words by the end of the weekend. Fingers crossed, I CAN do this!
And I’m too shattered to write. I managed about 100 words earlier though, so I’ve not slacked off completely. I’m actually looking forward to the weekend, to going full throttle and dedicating hours on hours of time to getting all the ideas in my head, out of my head and into my novel. I can’t wait to make the most of having energy which isn’t expelled at work, leaving me drained and uninspired by the time I get home. This challenge is both taxing and exciting, I feel at once motivated and burdened. It’s a strange thing, the best thing about creativity is the initial dream – the rest seems to contradict the idea of being creative, the physical act of creating something involves work, and work suggests method, task and production. Creativity, to me, is the opposite of work – it is freeing, it has no structure, no logic, no order – it comes from the heart, not the head.
But it is this thought that prevents many novels from every being written – because while the idea is wonderful, the reality is disappointing. Until you reach the end of the road, when the feeling of elation, pride and achievement will cloud any memories of the frustration of writer’s block, the self deprecation of missing self-made targets along the way, the constant battle with your conscience to NOT just give up. I just need to keep my mind on the goal, because I have always been a quitter, and for once I refuse to give up.
Day four and I have finished the first chapter, the Prologue, of my novel. 2670 words down, 47330 words to go… The inspirational spur from yesterday seems to have left me, but I’m tootling on with it anyway. The novel is taking the form of a journal, for that seems to be the best way I know to write. I am including many aspects of my blog, which could be seen to be cheating, but I’m embellishing on it (with a few changes in dates so it fits in with the theme of the events within the novel taking place throughout November) It’s still all true, it still all happened – it’s just a few tweaks for artistic license.
The best bit about it is that I am incorporating the novel into this blog! Just click on the page ‘A NOVEL JOURNEY‘ and you can read the novel as it grows. I’ll paste it in chapter by chapter so it won’t be too difficult to pick up where you left off.
I hope you’ll enjoy my e-book, and any comments will be really encouraging (or devastatingly discouraging, depending on the content), so please leave your mark by saying a few words instead of just a notch on my blog stats.
I had a breakthrough earlier this afternoon and within the space of an hour I’d written 1,115 words. I’ve scrapped the first three pages I’d initially scrawled in my notebook over coffee Saturday, and the synopsis I’d planned the novel around has kind of gone out the window too. The book will still be about me, it’ll involve many aspects of my life past and present but I’ve decided that I’ll just write and see where it takes me. I won’t limit myself by a synopsis which pigeonholes my writing into a specific running theme – I’m finding it too difficult to follow and I hit a brick wall before I’d really started. When I do finally come to the end of the novel, that’s when I will apply a title and a blurb.
So, by day three I should (if you divide the 50,000 words by 30 days) have written 5000 words. I’m about four hours worth of constant typing behind. But I imagine I’ll have days in which I write 5000 words in one go, and days in which nothing will get done. But as long as I try to write a little bit everyday, or keep reading over what I have written to keep the momentum going, I should reach my goal and that elated feeling of achievement.
…And I am failing miserably. Due to the weekend’s events, I’ve not been thinking straight. I jotted down a few initial pages of my first chapter, encountered mind block and gave up. But tomorrow is a new day and the start of a new week, and with it hopefully a new flow of inspiration, ideas and words on paper!
Oh yes I will! I am entering the NaNoWriMo challenge. The National Novel Writing Month in which participants must write a 50,000 word novel in 30 days! The 30 days of November, to be exact. It is not only Hallow’s Eve, it is also NaNoWriMo’s Eve and so I am eagerly jotting down ideas, plots and plans ready for the first chapter to begin… Actually, that’s a lie. I have decided that since I am my favourite subject (if you hadn’t noticed, you’ve not been reading my blog very carefully), I am going to write a biography of sorts, which means I don’t need plans, I just need memories – 50,000 words of memories. This is my novel title and synopsis, as described on my NaNoWriMo website profile:
Memoirs of an Ugly Duckling
A biography of me, myself and I. From the growing pains of an awkward ugly duckling to the love interests of an average looking duck, and the Kiwi that took me under his…erm…wing?
So, that’s it in a nutshell. Now to stop procrastinating and to get started. I already have a headache from my glaringly bright computer screen against the dingy lighting in my lounge, so I think I might just start this off with good old fashioned paper and pen. It adds to the excitement of it all for me though – I love handwriting, it’s underrated as typing has become second nature these days. I found out recently I can actually touch type and I don’t even realise I’m doing it, typing is my life at the moment. I’d like writing to be my life. I’ve always said I’d like to write a book, it’s one of those things that’s nice to dream about. This 30 day challenge will get me past thinking and into doing and by the end of November I’ll be able to call myself a novelist.
He said, then she said...