LAST DAYS IN THE HUTT

Another week of ‘meh’ has passed, although it was less so than the last, which was less so then the one before that. So altogether it seems things will get better in time. We’re now into our last few days living in Upper Hutt, which I’m surprised to have mixed feelings about – don’t get me wrong, I’m excited to be moving into the city and living with friends. But I’m sorry to be leaving the homeliness of the family, and home-cooking a la mum when I get home from work. Home comforts, I’m sure we’ll have our own home comforts in the new house – sitting on the deck in the sun, overlooking bush below, drink in hand… Barbecues out on the deck, cooking up the catch of the day which Kiwi and Wetsuit Man bring home from a day’s spearfishing. Chillaxing with Cat Woman’s cat Jasper and the mini-pigs, all one big happy family… until Jasper decides the pigs look more like lunch than company. I guess we’ll soon find out how the ‘cute and furries’ feel about each other, although if Kiara’s attitude problem is anything to go by perhaps Jasper should look out, instead of the other way around.

Update on the mini-pig mansion (it’s like Big Brother but with rodents): Since Simba moved in he’s declared his undying love for Nala (he follows her everywhere as soon as she moves out her little bedroom – if he’s not in it with her already. She likes to lick his ears while he’s eating so the feelings are definitely reciprocated) and it seems to have put Kiara in a permanently bad mood. She was never very nice to Nala, but even so she’s not liking that Nala’s found a friend. Now Kiara spends most of her time sat in her ‘bedroom’. Hopefully she’ll cheer up eventually, she’s still the boss – Simba hasn’t taken over her role as the dominant pig (he’s a wuss), but she’s still unhappy about something.

Anyway, enough of the reality-pig show. I am without Kiwi this weekend. He’s gone to his beach party on Tora Beach, in the Wairarapa (which is less of a party and more of a small gathering because only 4 people could make it this weekend). I had too much work to do to join him. I’m working on a paid writing project which I don’t think I’ll be able to take on again. My new job requires late evenings when necessary and maybe some travel and there’s talk of a couple of weekends away with work next year too, so I can’t commit myself to outside projects knowing that my job will have to take precedent over everything. And this project has its own deadlines to meet, so I don’t want to risk letting anyone down. It’s caused me some issues this time around too, which haven’t come up before, so it’s becoming evident that the idea of working remotely from NZ on a UK project is different to the reality. It was fine when I didn’t have a full time job, so if schedules were shifted or problems arose I had time to sort them out and still meet deadlines. But now I do I can’t be as available as I was. I have been umming and aahing the pros and cons of it for a while – the pro was the extra money coming in (enough for a trip to the UK annually if we wanted), but the cons are far outweighing that. Then I got a shitty email from someone this morning (project-related, just a third party to the project having a whinge about something out of my control, and expecting me to do unreasonable amounts to solve the issue). It put me in a bad mood – who wants to deal with crap on what should be a weekend break from work? It was the decision-maker really. All in all, I’m not keen on having stresses from one job during working hours, then another job when I get home.

While Kiwi is away tonight, me and his parents are going to see Julie and Julia. I know, I’ve already seen it, but I loved it – go see it, but don’t watch it on an empty stomach like I did the first time. Meryl Streep was hilarious as Julie. A movie will be something to take me away from work for a bit and make me chuckle. And tomorrow I’m planning to see the new version of A Christmas Carol too. Last time I dropped into the Ascot, I was given a comp voucher for two adults by a lovely lady I miss working with (because I never got an ‘official’ leaving present from management and although I was told I could see a free movie the day before I started my new job, I never used the opportunity). Since Kiwi is away this weekend, and then we’re moving away from the Hutt and the Ascot on Monday, I’m going to use both vouchers myself. When we do move into town I’m going to make it a weekly thing to see a movie – I want to see 2012, The Imaginarium of Dr Parnassus and Avatar when it comes out, so there’s a few weeks of movie watching already.

I shouldn’t be sat here typing, or at least I shouldn’t be typing here, I should be working. Or if not working I should be packing moving boxes. I’ll be at work while Kiwi moves our things into the new place, so it’s only fair that I pack our boxes ready for him. Lots to be doing, lots of procrastinating to be done.

Ooh, while I remember, Kiwi and I went to see comedian Rhys Darby (Flight of the Concords/The Boat That Rocked etc) on Wednesday night at Wellington Opera House. He was really funny (go figure – but the last time I went to see a big star comedian, Eddie Izzard’s show Sexy, it was a disappointment). He compered his own show, which was very cool to see. He came on stage at the beginning of the show, masquerading as a park ranger called Bill Napier and talked about how he’d seen Rhys Darby in 1999 when he’d invited him to a party as a comedy-act, and he owed him money for that show so he’d offered to be his manager instead of paying him. There was another act on too – a guy called Chris Brain who was winner of the Billy T James comedy award, and he was funny too but his jokes were focused on Australians and politics so there was nothing amazingly new about that. Before we saw the show, we went out to dinner at a Mexican restaurant called Flying Burrito Brothers, and as we left we saw Rhys Darby on Cuba Street, and ended up following walking behind him towards the Opera House. He’s very tall in real life (as opposed to TV/movie life. And his hair is bouncy.

By the by, my ring arrived this morning. Unbelievable considering it was coming from the US and was posted on Tuesday. The state of NZ Post at the moment means they have issues delivering a letter from one address in Wellington to another in Wellington… It could take up to a week. The ring arrived in a cute yellow purse which I can keep. It’s yellow, so I’m going to keep a collection of matching yellow-gold jewellery that I have in it. Seems fitting. I can’t decide whether to get the ring re-sized or not. It fits on my index finger, and it looks pretty but feels weird – I don’t wear rings on this finger. I’m wearing the ring now so I can have a think about it. Kiwi tried to take it off me until Christmas, which I really didn’t mind, but I did say I needed to see it so I could give the seller a review, plus I needed to find out if it fit me. I said he could have it back to keep until Christmas, but now I’ve seen it he doesn’t want it back. Seems silly to me, considering I chose it in the first place so I knew what it looked like anyway?! Bless him, he’s a bit special… So that’s Christmas-come-early for me. Although the camera his parents bought me last weekend has been given to his mum to be kept until Christmas day.

And here it is, the ring (I haven’t brushed my hair – yes it’s 6pm on a Saturday and I haven’t changed out of my PJs yet).

Anyway, it’s nearly tea-time. Just two more mum-cooked meals and we’ll be on our own

CHRISTMAS IN SUMMER

Despite all the ‘meh’ of the past couple of weeks, life is good. The sun is shining, summer’s almost here. We enjoyed a barbecue picnic next to the beach yesterday, with Kiwi and his mum and step-dad. We went to the esplanade in Petone with some sausages, hot dog buns and salad and it was perfect – sunshine and sausages are becoming my favourite things. We also went shopping for some Christmas presents. Kiwi has bought himself an LED TV on credit (no interest for 18 months so he thought he’d treat himself). He decided that he wanted an Apple TV for Christmas from me and his mum (it’s not a second TV, it’s a box for the TV which you link to your computer network and the internet and you can watch any movies you have downloaded from iTunes without having to copy them to a DVD first or anything like that). Enough of the geek spiel, Google it if you want to know more, I’m still not sure what it does myself… Anyway, while we were out buying the Apple TV in the electronics store, I decided that I wanted a camera from Kiwi’s parents for my Christmas present. I used to borrow Kiwi’s camera but it died (in a totally unrelated incident to the one where I knocked it out of his hand onto the ground and it split in half…) which is why there’ve been no images on my blog for so long! (The images above are stolen from the internetz). Talking of which, I found my Christmas present from Kiwi to me on etsy.com, from the seller 23tulips. It’s the emerald and gold ring you see before you. My birth stone is emerald and I fell in love with this ring so nothing else would do for me! Kiwi has never bought me any jewellery – I have a necklace and earrings from his mum, a bracelet and ring from his Nana, a bracelet from my mum, a watch from my dad, and nothing from my Kiwi. Well, now I do. It’s being sent from the US so hopefully I’ll have it in time to get it re-sized before Christmas (re-sizing is probably needed – the photo shows the ring on a thumb, I’d want to wear it on my right hand ring-finger). I want it now, I love it!

Kiwi has arranged a beach gathering next weekend on Tora Beach in the Wairarapa. He’s planing to go up early on Saturday morning, set up camp and do some spearfishing and paua diving. Other’s will join him for a barbecue and a night camping. I wasn’t going to go due to my weekend workload (I’ve got a writing project on at the moment – paid work) but to be honest I’m loathe to miss out on it, and there’s always the Sunday afternoon and evening to work… I could even take some work with me (proofreading etc). If next weekend is going to be anything like this weekend, I do not want to spend it indoors! I’m jealous at the thought of people having camping and beach fun without me! I’d say my mind was made up then… Hehe…

Anyway, talking of weekend work load, I’m supposed to be working right now! See ya x

SWINGS AND ROUNDABOUTS

I’ve left it for a week to tell you how things are going simply because it’s been up and down, swings and roundabouts, and I just wanted to give myself some head space without writing down anything too negative or overly optimistic. It was another busy week in which I had times I felt I wasn’t where I wanted to be. I’ve had dreams in which Kiwi tells me to quit. But then I was able to get a temp in to help out with my workload for a couple of days and I was able to breathe for a bit. This job is very different to what I imagined – I think it’s my design background, I expected a more ‘creative’ environment and I’m not feeling the banter yet – everyone’s too busy. In my old job I had to ‘create’ my workload and I was answerable to myself, pretty much. In this job I’m being given my workload, from left, right and centre I have people asking me to add this, that and the other to my To Do list. I think some of that workload has been unnecessary things that someone else should be doing themselves, but being new there’s not much I can do about it. Saying that, it’s probably helping me to learn my clients and projects by having certain tasks passed down to me.

Having a temp in took the pressure off but even she commented “do you ever stop” – which says something. Although luckily at the end of the week, while the temp was doing my odds and shite I was busy ticking things off my To Do list, and for the first time since I arrived I wasn’t being handed even more to add to it so it ends up longer and longer, however much work I do. Hopefully this is the end of the stress; my manager is back next week so I’ll have her support to help everything make sense, and her advice/guidance in what’s my role and what’s other people’s. Right now I’m less Account Manager and more distribution house/postman/data input.

That all sounds so negative, even though I’m feeling more positive about it now. I keep being told how it’s normal for the first few weeks/months in a new job to be stressful but I’ve never experienced that before. Obviously bar and hotel work was easy so no stress there, and in my previous job instead of being given too much to cope with, I had nothing to do and I had to find my own work. I know which scenario I prefer! I’ve been thinking about this constant comparing with my old job. It’s causing my feeling of ‘what am I doing here’ – in my old job I seemed to always search for things to do, and I’d finish them in my own time. I’d usually be waiting for the next coffee or lunch break, because when you’re writing or doing something ‘creative’, you tend to procrastinate until you get in the creative ‘mood’… Now, I have days I’m too busy to have a lunch break and I don’t stop all day. There’s no time to procrastinate. I don’t feel like I should take a break when there is so much to do, so I get stressed out about it because I don’t have a ‘time-out’ and by the end of the day I’m so tired I can barely talk to Kiwi – this has never been how I’ve worked before. I’m going to have to get used to the fact that there will always be things to do and they’ll all be ‘priority’, but they can wait for an hour while I get some fresh air. No stresses, I can only do so much in one day, I shouldn’t strive to empty my To Do list by home time – that’s trying for the impossible when it’s constantly being added to.

In other news, we move house a week on Monday and everything I’ve been striving for since I got to New Zealand will be achieved. That was all; job, home in the city, residency (which doesn’t really matter right now since I have my long-term work permit). Now just give me a few months to settle in and I’m sure I’ll stop all this whinging Pom crap I constantly blog – it may sound like I don’t appreciate this job which I was so desperate for, but I do. I’ve always had problems with high expectations and being disappointed, but that’s only because I’m a dreamer and life never matches your dreams – I never did learn how to take it as it comes.

ANOTHER DAY, ANOTHER DIME…

Contrary to previous accusations about Mondays, today was neither manic nor blue. I had time to think for the first time in a week. I didn’t achieve much but I organised myself in order to achieve more the rest of this week (at least that’s what I tell myself  – why do today what you can put off ’til tomorrow… procrastination is harder work than actually working). Anyway, amongst other bits I organised my To-Do List into three parts – today, this week and next week. So now the list looks a bit shorter and less looming than before, and everything feels a bit less *AAAAGH*-making.

The weekend was uneventful, except that we went out to a Tepanyaki restaurant (one of those places where the chef cooks your meal on the table in front of you) in Lower Hutt with Kiwi’s Dad and Nanny on Friday night. When the chef played a few games with us, like ‘catch the egg’, I didn’t catch the egg and it landed in Kiwi’s Dad’s lap. And it wasn’t hard-boiled either. His legs were well and truly egged. At least it gave Kiwi’s Nanny the best laugh she’d had in a week… On the down side, my stomach decided to complain about the amount of rich foods I was consuming (on a bad day IBS doesn’t agree with oils, garlic, onions, red meat, root vegetables, copious amounts of food in general) and I spent the rest of the evening suffering in the restaurant bathroom, not to mention stopping at McDonald’s on the way home to use the ladies, funtimes…

Kiwi and I went to see Michael Jackson’s This Is It on Saturday, which was pretty good. It’s quite emotive since you know the ending, but I wouldn’t go in expecting to be astounded if you do go to see it – it’s just clips of song preparation, then clips of the song itself, clips of song preparation, clips of the song itself… and so on. Although you can see from the footage that it would have been the most elaborate concert ever staged, and it is tragic it never came about. And Michael Jackson himself moved like he was still in his 20s, and sounded just as he always has.

On Saturday night we trundled off to see some fireworks at Trentham Memorial Park, but being New Zealand Spring, it doesn’t get dark until about 9pm, so the fireworks weren’t due to start until around 9.30, which we didn’t find out until we arrived at 7pm. So having hung around for an hour, getting colder and bored, I wasn’t too interested in waiting for another hour and a half for five minutes of fireworks. We met up with Kiwi Girl and her family for a short while; and Kiwi Girl and me went on one of the carnival rides which were set up around the park. It didn’t look as fun as it was, I love fairground rides – I miss the Hoppings in Newcastle (Europe’s largest fun fair which comes to Newcastle annually for two weeks). We left around 8:30pm and went to rent a scary movie in honour of it being Halloween. Our DVD player turned out to be broken though, so we called it an early night.

Sunday was hot – English mid-summer kind of hot. I spent the day mostly in the garden, sat on a garden chair. Kiwi and I made a big pen on the lawn for the pigs to run around in, so I had to sit with them to make sure no neighbourhood cats came prowling. The pigs didn’t even appreciate it. They sat in one corner, underneath the shade I’d made for them out of towels and didn’t move. They were probably a bit scared by the unfamiliar environment though, but I’d like for them to make the most of the pen while they can; when we move into town we don’t have a lawn.

This week I’ve got so much work to do after work, I’m tired just thinking about it. I start work on a writing project which I’ve kept up from the UK – it comes around every 3 months. It’s only a couple of weeks work, but it’s a couple of weeks of spare time becoming no-spare time, now I’m working full time too. But it’s something I enjoy doing and I know it inside out now so it’s not too much like hard work, it’s just time consuming. Plus I’ve got an article for the work newsletter to write an outline for. I volunteered an idea which I now can’t even think what to write about, so I’m putting it off instead… because that’s how things get done, right? You put them aside and the fairies do it all for you? I thought so.

Anyway, it’s 9.45pm which is way past my bed time – seriously it is, I can’t stay awake in the evenings at the moment. I go to bed around 9.30/10pm and get up at 6am. I need 8 hours, I don’t function without zoning-out if I don’t get my 8 hours. *Yaaaaaawn*

SHITTY MCSHITE

That pretty much sums up about 80% of my day. Nothing particular happened, just an overwhelming sense of being overwhelmed. It’s probably just *that* time of the month talking and I’m overly emotional. I spent this morning feeling teary, had sorted myself out by mid-afternoon then one tiny comment left me feeling a bit teary again. I have no idea where it came from; I think I’m doing okay at work. I’m in a situation where it’s an extremely busy time and I need to pick up the middle of projects and carry them on. And that’s fine, there’s just a lot to take in and I need some guidance, and unfortunately it’s also a time in which everyone else is busy too so it’s not an easy-peasy, breaking-me-in-gently process. It’s a ‘this, this, this, this, this, this…etc need doing – now go’, and I knew it would be like that and I can deal with it. I just wasn’t expecting that many things to keep cropping up which shifts everything else which I’ve just arranged. I am keeping on top of it all. It’s just leaving me feeling exhausted at the end of the day and I can’t just leave it at work, it comes home with me and goes over in my mind all evening, then I dream weird and strange dreams which leave me reeling when I wake up to my alarm and I’m confused as to where I am and what that noise is.

It’s hard too coming from a place I loved and was one of the ‘family’ into a place I feel out of the mix. Obviously I’ve only been there a week, it takes time to be one of the team and have your place within it, but it’s a bit lonely out there in the meantime; just when you need some friends around to vent to – most days were coffee-and-a-vent days at my old work. I miss the banter which made it all so homely. I don’t know, I’m tired and teary again but it’s 9pm and everything seems more dramatic until you wake up in the morning and realise it was your hormones talking. I’ll be fine tomorrow. It’s Friday in the morning and then it’s the weekend and I can forget all about it. Except for the fact I’ve got some ‘homework’ to do.

I need a hug.

KIA KAHA TATOU KI TE KORERO MAORI

For those of you not fluent in Maori, that means ‘let us be staunch in speaking Maori’. It’s the first line of a song which I discovered MADCom will collectively be singing to their clients at their Christmas party – we have a lot of Maori relations through government clients. I’m definitely not staunch in that department… I can’t even pronounce the word ‘Maori’ correctly. I can’t roll my R’s, and you almost need a rolling sound. I have thought about taking a course in Te Reo Maori, and I’m thinking it even more now, since I believe it’ll support me in the workplace. Even if I just learn the different combination vowel/consonant sounds, at least I won’t sound like a complete ‘tard when I’m reading documents incorporating the Maori language.

Kiwi is Maori – pronounced ‘May-or-ree’ by me (this is laughable if you’re a New Zealander), or ‘Mawl-lri’ by people who can enunciate (kind of – I don’t know how to sound it out here) – but he doesn’t know the language really. His Nanny teaches Maori to kids in primary school, maybe I should start with some lessons from her. Even in a country where the main language is English, I feel foreign when I hear people say Kia Ora or Noho oro mai – I think if I was to say it I’d sound trite. But I also sound ignorant when I can’t say names/terms correctly so I owe it to myself and the clients I’ll be meeting to educate myself.

Just a thought for now…

It’s been another day at work with a lot to take in. And I started off the day by tipping a tin of tea on the kitchen floor (such a waste of lemongrass and ginger), and then realising I had forgotten my notebook – I’d left it at home. Inside my notebook was my To-Do List and a bunch of documents (briefs/survey summarys) which were important not only for me but for other people in the office. *Slaps forehead*. Luckily I have the bestest chauffeur Kiwi this side of Upper Hutt and he drove the hour round trip back into the city to bring it to me. He drove me into work and back to Upper Hutt, drove my notebook into work then back to Upper Hutt, then came in to pick me up and drove me back to Upper Hutt. I should get him a black cab.

The day wasn’t all bad – I sorted myself out once I had my notebook back in my hand. But I have a lot more to sort out tomorrow – I have emails flying about everywhere so it’s easy for important messages to get lost amongst the others (I need to organise them into folders) and I have even more bits of paper flying about my desk too. I need a filing system of some description. It really has been too long out of work when organisational skills are defying me…

Anyway, I have to be in the office bright and early tomorrow for singing practice (!). So, away to bed and another chapter of Harry Potter to lull me to sleep… These early mornings are a shock to the system after sleeping in til 9am and taking 2 – 3 hours to slowly get up and dressed (now I have to get ready in 1 hour and 20 minutes – this might sound a lot but my ridiculously thick hair takes 40 minutes of this!). Oh wow, now I’m beginning to appreciate the benefits of unemployment – I should go back in my blog and re-read the posts about inane boredom and feelings of worthlessness – for now I can only remember the ‘good’ stuff of unemployment now I’m reminded of what it’s like in the real world. Lie-ins, lie-ins and… lie-ins. Lie-ins are now only the thing of dreams (except on weekends). Nighty night x

MY FIRST WEEK

Well, my first three days anyway – I started on Wednesday and we’ve had a long weekend due to a public holiday today (Labour Day). Nice way to break me in easily. I’ve been inundated with information and given lots of things to do already – it’s been a lot to take in. Before I started work, Kiwi gave me some sage advice which has made the difference between my feeling overwhelmed by it all or knowing where I’m at and getting on with it. His advice was; keep a To-Do List. So simple. Unfortunately for me my To-Do List turned into a double feature-page in my notebook by the end of my first day, and by home time on Friday it was more of a small novel.

This is good though, I know what’s in store for me on Tuesday morning and over the first few days the time between 8:30am and 5:30pm flew. I’m only on a seven-month contract – the company have a seven-month project which I’ll be helping to ‘account manage’ and at the end of the seven months – end of May next year, they should be able to offer me a permanent position (or extend my contract). So knowing that I’m busy is a good feeling, it obviously means I’m needed. If I remain busy I don’t have to worry too much about my future there.

It’s been a really good week overall and things are finally falling into place all at once. On Monday I was offered the job at MADCom (not the real company name – they are a marketing and advertising company so this makes sense for a pseudonym); on Wednesday we went to view a property in Brooklyn, on the edge of Wellington’s city centre, with Cat Woman and Wetsuit Man, which we are all moving in to mid November; then on Thursday I received a letter from Immigration NZ, finally approving my work permit. They’ve given me a two year permit so I can breathe easy at last until they approve my residency application. Knowing Immigration, they’ll probably approve it in the next few weeks which will make the $280 I paid for the work permit redundant. But I guess for piece of mind, $280 is worth every cent.

So, in the space of a week, life is suddenly how I imagined it should be. Or at least it will be once we’ve moved into our new place. This weekend has been a taste of things to come – no more working weekend days and nights, Kiwi and I can just chill together. I went out after work with Kiwi Girl on Friday night, for dinner and a bottle of wine. We ran some errands on Saturday, did some serious domestic duties, met up with some friends for a drink and watched a movie. On Sunday we went into Wellington to check out the fruit and veg market which is on Victoria Street every Sunday, then walked around town and stopped for a bite to eat and a drink. We also sat down and worked out our budget for when we’re living in Wellington and it all looks good – we’re back to where we were when we were (that’s a lot of where were we’s) living in Newcastle. Basically we’re not rich but we can afford to treat ourselves and go out on dates on a weekly basis, woo!

Anyway, we’re on to day three of the weekend (woohoo! for long weekends) and I have no idea what our plans are for today. Generally just chillaxin’ I think, and maybe a few more domestic bits – although after cleaning out the guinea pigs, cleaning the bathroom, cleaning out my draws, wardrobe and storage boxes (trying to make moving-out easier by getting rid of things I don’t use/wear) and running around Upper Hutt and Lower Hutt running errands, I do feel all out of the motivation to do anything else domesticated this weekend… *Yawn*.

UNEMPLOYED…

…No more! I got the job! And I start on Wednesday… as in tomorrow… as in ohmyfreakin’bejeezus I’ve been un(der)employed for 10 months and all of a sudden I have to get myself out of bed at 6am in the morning and travel for an hour to my 8:30 – 5:30 job in which I’ll be inundated with all kinds of unknown bits and bobs (and by the way the manager I’ll be working under is away for my first 2 weeks of work and wants to hand over her projects to me) and after 5:30 I’ll travel the hour home where I’ll have some dinner and probably a hour or two to myself before I have to get things sorted for the next day at work then go to bed… It’s a long shot from my previous job where I lived 5 minutes walk from work and at least had some idea what I was doing… I’m sure that bit will come in time.

Now Kiwi is busy house/flat/apartment hunting for us as I type. We’re moving in with Cat Woman and Wetsuit Man; Cat Woman has a cat (surprise, surprise) and we have three guinea pigs, so the ‘NO PETS’ clause which 99% of landlords use when advertising their properties is slightly slimming down our choice of places to live. But I’m sure it’ll help us in the long run – if we had lots of options then we’d take ages to narrow it down to a final choice… probably. Whatever, I’m not getting involved in the actual hunt for a home. All I want is a room for a bedroom, a room for an office and some space I can run the pigs around in. I’ll leave it to the others to find a place; I’ve got too much freaking out to do about my new job to be wasting my energy on houses…

I could have started today, but I wanted a day for myself to take it in. Sounds extremo but when you’re out of ‘real’ employment for so long it leaves you wondering if you’ll just give in to it, sign on the dole and spend your days watching Trisha and Jeremy Kyle (believe it or not, they screen both on New Zealand television…) When you finally do get a job you feel unworthy – I’m terrified I won’t have a clue what I’m doing and I’ll crash and burn – during the past 10 months of not getting to interview stage, I’d lost my sense of confidence in myself to do a job of this type, and I thought my experience and skills weren’t as good as I thought they were. But now this job offer has sparked off a sense of pride in myself and the feeling that I can do it.

I imagined that I wouldn’t find a job in New Zealand for a long time which would actually be a career step-up. I thought I’d have to start at the bottom again and find a new niche – maybe work as an assistant/junior position. But in yet another streak of luck in my life (I can’t find it now, but I once wrote a post about how in my life I’ve always got what I wanted/needed), this position is a new rung on my current career ladder, and a higher one at that. It’s too good to be true – do you remember me mentioning they have a TEA MENU and how much I LOVE tea? The job may well have been waiting just for me…

Ooh, Kiwi just told me we’re going house-viewing in 1 hour! Sounds fun. I’m not even showered and dressed yet though so I should really get going…

Did I mention I HAVE A JOB!!! THE JOB!!!

JUDGEMENT DAY

I should find out about the job today… In T minus 3 hours and six minutes… Unless they haven’t received my references yet, but in that instance I’ll hopefully find out what will happen when they do receive the references. So, either way, I should know something by this afternoon. I’m just trying to decide what to wear today – I *may* have gone shopping over the weekend for a work wardrobe (not that I’m pre-empting fate – even if I don’t get this job I’ll need some work clothes eventually) so I now have choices, wooo:

a) a dress and power suit jacket;
b) black skinny jeans and power suit jacket;
c) power suit skirt and I mean business (fake)pearls;
d) shiny skirt and I’m feelin’ fresh white T…

The sky is blue and the sun appears to be shining right now, so the dress could be my first choice. Then again, Wellington can be freakin’ cold even when it’s deceptively Spring-y outside, so I might be better to cover my calves and go with the skinny jeans. Or maybe I should worry about getting out of bed and getting showered and preened before I think about my wardrobe… Eek, T minus 2 hours and 55 minutes!

WAITING… WAITING… WAITING!!!

My day babysitting the office ended with no signs I had or hadn’t got the job. I was hoping to sit down and talk through the test with Top Man and Boss Lady, but I was simply thanked for helping out, asked to come in on Monday at midday for a chat and sent away. For some reason I came away feeling really disappointed in myself, I had the niggly feeling I didn’t make an impression on the test and I hadn’t got the job. I think it had more to do with the fact I woke up at 2am that morning and hadn’t slept since then, combined with feeling drained from worrying about the test and what was in store for me in general, along with knowing I had a night at work ahead of me too – it was a long day mentally and emotionally. I know I really want this job; after spending time at the company I have a sense of their professionalism. They have some important clients, big projects, it sounds like the team works long and hard, it just leaves me wondering, ‘will they find me worthy of them?’

When I got home from work last night I checked my emails and had received one from Boss Lady which asked me for two references to be sent before we meet on Monday. I’ve never had my references checked before so for some reason it makes me feel checked up on. But I’m told that it’s unusual not to check references so that puts my mind at ease – I saw it as a negative thing but I keep being told that checking references is the very last thing before you officially receive a job offer. They wouldn’t check my references if they weren’t planning to employ me. Kiwi and his mum also say they don’t think I’d be asked back in for Monday to be told that I haven’t got the job – they wouldn’t waste time if they knew they didn’t want me, and nobody likes to have ‘that’ conversation in person. So perhaps Monday will be a further interview, or it could be to discuss giving me a short term contract to begin with. Or it could be to bring me in and point and laugh as they read through my test…? Jokes.

I know it appears I am over-thinking everything, and I am, but it helps just to get it out of my head, onto this page and then forget about it until Monday. It’s a case of cabin fever – I’ve become so immersed in job hunting that this opportunity becomes the be all and end all of my current situation.

*EDIT: I’ve just received emails about my availability… that’s got to be good, right?!